Help GUYs. I have issues with girls, serious ISSUES, issues that need to be solved!!!

[nanyangview]

Guys tell me EXACTLY with intricate and EXCRUCIATEdetails and steps what I SHOULD DO OR SAY when dealing with girls. I am from a all boys school for majority of my life and i think this is one cause. My life depend on u guys so please be kind and help this poor lad here.
Whenever i see them, I FEEL COLD, sometimes PULsATING COLD AND HEAT, AIRY AS IF I AM FLOATING AROUND OR OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE AND SOMETIMES I GET TUNNEL VISION, SEVERE TO MIld dizziness or walking into walls, stumbling, inability to see coherently. Other symptoms include stomach cramp, migrain and stuff. I NEED HELP AAAAHHHHhhHH!!!


PLEASE I HAVE Issues, Serious Issues, Issues that needs to be solved expeditedly!

PLEASE I HAVE Issues, Serious Issues, Issues that needs to be solved expeditedly!

[Five-seveN]

Dude, get on ICQ.

[typoEDR]

Just relax and don't get an erection.

[kegking]

Girls love anal sex.

[Monk]

Ok heres some pickup lines, say as manny of them as fast as you can at any given moment.

1. That outfit would look great in a crumpled heap next to my bed.

2. Nice shoes, wanna f*ck?

3. You have some nice jewelry. It would look great on my nightstand.

4. Do you know what'd look good on you? Me.

5. [Look at her shirt label. When they say, "What are you doing?":] Checking to see if you were made in heaven.

OR: Checking to see if you're the right size.

6. If I told you that you had a great body, would you hold it against me?

7. Nice tits. Mind if I feel them?

8. I love every bone in your body - especially mine.

9. I like every muscle in your body, especially mine.

10. [Grab her tush. ] Pardon me, is this seat taken?

11. You got nice breasts, but what color are your nipples? Brown or Pink?

12. Is it hot in here or is it just you?

13. You're so hot you melt the plastic in my underwear.

14. Really like your peaches, wanna shake your tree.

15. That's a nice shirt. Can I talk you out of it?

16. Do you want to see something swell?

17. Hey babe. . . do you realize that my mouth can generate over 750 psi?

18. [Tap your thigh] You just think this is my leg.

19. I'd look good on you.

20. I'm Irish. Do you have any Irish in you? Would you like some?

21. Hold out two fingers and say: "Why should a woman masturbate with these two fingers?" (I don't know. ) "'Cause they're mine sweetheart. "

22. There must be something wrong with my eyes, I can't take them off you.

23. Are you from Tennessee? Because you're the only ten I see!

24. Hi, I make more money than you can spend.

25. HI! Can I buy you a car?

26. Can I buy you a drink or do you just want the money?

27. Why don't you come over here, sit on my lap and we'll talk about the first thing that pops up?

28. Motion with your finger for a girl to come over. When she gets there say, "I knew if I fingered you long enough you would cum. "

29. Excuse me. Do you want to f*ck or should I apologize?

30. Hi, my name is {name}, how do you like me so far?

31. Hey babe. . . can you suck a golf ball thru 50 feet of garden hose?

32. Hey babe. . . can you suck start a Harley?

33. Hey babe, how about a pizza and a f*ck?

[Slap] HEY! What's wrong, don't you like pizza?

34. Excuse me, have I f*cked you yet?

35. Fancy a f*ck?

36. Hi, my name is {name}, I like peanut butter, wanna f*ck?

37. I am a magical being, take off your bra.

38. Hey baby, wanna go halves on a bastard?

39. My name's [your name]. That's so you know what to scream.

40. My name's [your name], but you can call me "lover. "

41. Can I flirt with you?

42. Can I have directions? ["To where?"] To your heart.

43. I'm new in town. Could you give me directions to your apartment?

44. F*ck me if I'm wrong, but isn't your name Gretchen?

45. F*ck me if I'm wrong, but don't you want to kiss me?

46. Bond. James Bond.

47. That's a nice shirt, it would go great with my floor.

48. Drop 'em!

49. I think we have to make love on the front lawn like crazed weasels NOW!

50. I love you. I want to marry you. Now f*ck my brains out.

51. Forget that! Playing doctor is for kids! Let's play gynecologist.

52. NOW, B*TCH!

53. Say, did we go to different schools together?

54. Do I know you from somewhere, because I don't recognize you with your clothes on?

55. Was your father a thief? 'Cause someone stole the stars from the sky and put them in your eyes.

56. Your daddy must have been a baker, 'cause you've got a nice set of buns.

57. I had a friend who used to hand out phone cards that said: "Smile if you want to sleep with me. " And watch them try to hold back their laughter.

58. I miss my teddy bear. Would you sleep with me?

59. You remind me of a girl I used to date.

60. What do you like for breakfast?

61. Should I call you in the morning or nudge you?

62. Would you like to have morning coffee with me?

63. Can I borrow a quarter? ["What for?"] I want to call my mom and tell her I just met the girl of my dreams.

OR: I want to call your mother and thank her.

64. Do you sleep on your stomach? [any answer] Can I?

65. If I followed you home, would you keep me?

66. Wanna f*ck like bunnies?

67. Hey babe, wanna get LUCKY!?

68. Would you like to dance or should I go f*ck myself again?

69. Would you like Gin and platonic or do you prefer Scotch and sofa?

70. Do you have a map? I just keep on getting lost in your eyes.

71. Your place or mine?

72. Your face or MINE!?

73. Are you lost ma'am? Because heaven's a long way from here.

74. Wanna play carnival? You sit on my face and I guess how much you weigh.

75. I'm on fire. Can I run through your sprinkler?

76. Sex is a killer. . . want to die happy?

77. Were your parents Greek Gods, 'cause it takes two gods to make a goddess.

78. If your right leg was Christmas and your left leg was Easter, would you let me spend some time up between the holidays?

79. Do you have a mirror in your pocket? (Why?) 'Cause I could see myself in your pants.

80. Do you know the essential difference between sex and conversation? (No. ) Do you wanna go upstairs and talk.

81. Would you be my love buffet? So I can lay you out on the table and take what I want?

82. What does it feel like to be the most beautiful girl in this room?

83. How about you and I go back to my place and get out of these wet clothes?

84. Do you have a boyfriend?

[No] Want one?

[Yes] Well, when you want a MANfriend, come and talk to me.

85. I'm easy. Are you?

86. Are we related? Do you want to be?

87. Did you clean your pants with Windex? I can practically see myself in them.

88. Pardon me miss, I seem to have lost my phone number, could I borrow yours?

89. I'm leaving this place. . want to cum?

90. Come on, you can't get pregnant again.

91. Why you've got the whitest teeth I'd ever want to cum across!

92. If you were a tear in my eye I would not cry for fear of losing you.

93. What's a nice girl like you doing in a place like this?

94. Did it hurt? Woman: Did what hurt? When you fell out of heaven?

95. I am conducting a feel test of how many woman have pierced nipples?

96. Is it that cold out or are you just smuggling tic-tac's

97. Pardon me but I was just about to go home and masturbate and I was wondering if you'd mind if I fantasize about you?

98. Sit on my lap and we'll get things straight between us

99. You smell wet. Let's Party.

100. Pardon me miss, but I help noticing that you have cum in your hair.

[dhc014]

Someone had to say it:
Pull their ponytails and stick your dork in their mouth

[nanyangview]

help me guys. i know u guys are nice and helpful

[Frog]

Whenever you feel nervous talking to someone, you're supposed to imagine them naked.

Wait... that won't help at all, will it?

Honestly, the best advice that anyone can give you is to remember that they are human, too. Chances are, they're just as nervous. Your best bet is to simply be yourself, and even using that nervousness to act like a fool. Sometimes that works, too.

[therock16]

Originally posted by nanyangview
SOMETIMES I GET TUNNEL VISION, SEVERE TO MIld dizziness or walking into walls, stumbling, inability to see coherently. Other symptoms include stomach cramp, migrain and stuff.

I think you need to see a doctor about that

[euan]

Originally posted by nanyangview
Guys tell me EXACTLY with intricate and EXCRUCIATEdetails and steps what I SHOULD DO OR SAY when dealing with girls. I am from a all boys school for majority of my life and i think this is one cause. My life depend on u guys so please be kind and help this poor lad here.
Whenever i see them, I FEEL COLD, sometimes PULsATING COLD AND HEAT, AIRY AS IF I AM FLOATING AROUND OR OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE AND SOMETIMES I GET TUNNEL VISION, SEVERE TO MIld dizziness or walking into walls, stumbling, inability to see coherently. Other symptoms include stomach cramp, migrain and stuff. I NEED HELP AAAAHHHHhhHH!!!

And this doesn't happen around boys?

Sorry... But I'm afraid your Gay.



Perhaps you could sue your parents? You are American right? Social Deprivation?

The only advice I can give download some porn, and get this fear of girls out of yourself. All your describing sounds like um, panic, and anxiety. That's bad. How old are you?

edit: bah canadian. I suppose you can still sue.

[Robotzombie]

Originally posted by nanyangview
Guys tell me EXACTLY with intricate and EXCRUCIATEdetails and steps what I SHOULD DO OR SAY when dealing with girls. I am from a all boys school for majority of my life and i think this is one cause. My life depend on u guys so please be kind and help this poor lad here.
Whenever i see them, I FEEL COLD, sometimes PULsATING COLD AND HEAT, AIRY AS IF I AM FLOATING AROUND OR OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE AND SOMETIMES I GET TUNNEL VISION, SEVERE TO MIld dizziness or walking into walls, stumbling, inability to see coherently. Other symptoms include stomach cramp, migrain and stuff. I NEED HELP AAAAHHHHhhHH!!!


PLEASE I HAVE Issues, Serious Issues, Issues that needs to be solved expeditedly!

PLEASE I HAVE Issues, Serious Issues, Issues that needs to be solved expeditedly!

[ATI LoVeR 8500]

You guys haven't been helpful. Nanyangview, just ignore what they all said except for Frog.

What you need to remember is that women ARE human. They get nervous, and the worry too.

When a girl meets a guy she doesn't evaluate him to near the extent your thinking. I guessing, you get really worried what women will think about you. Well, the truth is, most women the descent ones, just like you to be yourself, don't be something your not.

When you meet a girl, treat her like you would treat guy. There are restrictions though.

-No being loud
-No high-fives
-No Rude Stuff

Girls DON'T judge you right away, so don't freak out. The way your going at it is your trying to do everything perfect and that won't work. Just be yourself, and try to do a little perfect, that's all.

Also, I'm sure you know that when you get into a conversation, don't talk about

-Any form of electronics(Computers, etc...)
-Any kind of mechanical device that goes further the complexity of a nail clipper
-No video games
-Really Crude Stuff

Most girls don't like that. Try to talk about the location you are at, or bring up a funny story. Girls love to laugh. I'm sure you or your friends have done something stupid you can tell girls about.

Also, when you first meet a girl, take a deep breath and remember to be yourself. Don't freak! There is no reason to freak! NONE! When you see or meet one, just think to yourself "It's just a girl, their another 2 billion out there, there is NO need to worry."

Your 17, soon to be 18? From Singapore? Your young, you not need to worry, let the girls like you for who you are.

Taking a deep breath helps, do that! And be sure to think "No big deal!" Because, TRUST ME, it isn't!

[Roundhouse]

maybe you like the c0ck?

[Shikatanai]

O.K.

First you have to find a girl from whatever ****ing planet you're from

That'll be the hardest part. If can do that then you won't have to worry about a thing

[rayzian]

lol, looking for advice on chicks in a computer hardware forum.. classic

[mavis]

Originally posted by rayzian
lol, looking for advice on chicks in a computer hardware forum.. classic

hehe ... At least it wasn't something about pulling a girl's ponytail, and how it backfired ...

[Redemption]

wtf dude, be yourself!

AHAHAHAHAHAHA YEAH LIKE THAT WORKS

[Dustin]

This thread is now about buckets:

[Trunks0]

Originally posted by Redemption
wtf dude, be yourself!

AHAHAHAHAHAHA YEAH LIKE THAT WORKS

Oh yea thx Mr.Iveneverbeenlaid j/k

Best to ignore the quoted above

[Boinger]

Originally posted by Dustin
This thread is now about buckets:

enough with the "This thread is now about xxx..."
for the love of god ITS DEAD

[Hanners]

Originally posted by nm nix
enough with the "This thread is now about xxx..."
for the love of god ITS DEAD

Indeed..... Although, that is a particularly lavish bucket...

[marqmajere]

How about not letting nanyangview post anymore women help threads. This has been only the 9 millionth one so far and he doesn't seem to listen to any of the good advice given. If he did listen then he wouldn't have a new thread about this everyother week.

[KarlGriffiths]

Originally posted by nanyangview
Guys tell me EXACTLY with intricate and EXCRUCIATEdetails and steps what I SHOULD DO OR SAY when dealing with girls. I am from a all boys school for majority of my life and i think this is one cause. My life depend on u guys so please be kind and help this poor lad here.
Whenever i see them, I FEEL COLD, sometimes PULsATING COLD AND HEAT, AIRY AS IF I AM FLOATING AROUND OR OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE AND SOMETIMES I GET TUNNEL VISION, SEVERE TO MIld dizziness or walking into walls, stumbling, inability to see coherently. Other symptoms include stomach cramp, migrain and stuff. I NEED HELP AAAAHHHHhhHH!!!

PLEASE I HAVE Issues, Serious Issues, Issues that needs to be solved expeditedly!

Pathetic. The last time I helped you and now you're being a selfish low-life. Get out of this forum, it's too good for the likes of you !

[imagine]

Girls like awkward guys. You just have to be yourself and get really awkward and start tripping and doing stupid things (not intentionally, but if you do...and I know you will), and then the girl will smile and giggle, and she'll think your cute and you might form a relationship eventually. Seriously, if you find the right girl, it shouldn't be a problem. But then again...the right girl...never seems to exist.

Hmm, new thread idea.

[Boinger]

my perfect girl comes with a mc lauren f1 for me

[Flanger]

Originally posted by nanyangview
Guys tell me EXACTLY with intricate and EXCRUCIATEdetails and steps what I SHOULD DO OR SAY when dealing with girls. I am from a all boys school for majority of my life and i think this is one cause. My life depend on u guys so please be kind and help this poor lad here.
Whenever i see them, I FEEL COLD, sometimes PULsATING COLD AND HEAT, AIRY AS IF I AM FLOATING AROUND OR OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE AND SOMETIMES I GET TUNNEL VISION, SEVERE TO MIld dizziness or walking into walls, stumbling, inability to see coherently. Other symptoms include stomach cramp, migrain and stuff. I NEED HELP AAAAHHHHhhHH!!!


PLEASE I HAVE Issues, Serious Issues, Issues that needs to be solved expeditedly!

PLEASE I HAVE Issues, Serious Issues, Issues that needs to be solved expeditedly!

If you're being serious, then you're experiencing high-level panic attacks... which could result from an anxiety disorder. In other words, you're well beyond the help of Rage3D forums.

[billyhansome]

shut the **** up you damn troll

[Boinger]

go see a doctor (not joking around)

[nanyangview]

i fine

[Hanners]

Originally posted by nanyangview
i fine

That's a matter of opinion...