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Old May 9, 2021, 11:17 AM   #1
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KAC
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Default Signs of depression

What are some of the signs of depression?
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Old May 9, 2021, 11:30 AM   #2
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Old May 9, 2021, 12:23 PM   #3
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For me it tends to be just a feeling that I don't feel like doing anything, work-related or fun (hobbies, sports, etc.).

I never get the low self-esteem bits, because I know I'm awesome, and I'm very self-assured. Certainly no thoughts of suicide or anything.

Sometimes I waste an entire day (on Rage3d!), waiting to feel more ambitious tomorrow. Sometimes I get into this funk that can for weeks. I have small children at home, so I don't have the luxury of staying in bed, but sometimes I think I might if I didn't have little people demanding things of me.

Sometimes I can work through it by forcing myself to do an activity that I love, like wood-working or skateboarding. It also seems to be largely sleep-related... often times it goes away if I can just get a good night of sleep, although I've never been a very good sleeper, so "a good night of sleep" is not really a reliable solution.
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Old May 9, 2021, 02:19 PM   #4
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some solid responses above. but also it can hit different people very very differently. which i think is one of the main reason why "old school people" often either ignore it or deny its existence straight up.
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Old May 9, 2021, 02:32 PM   #5
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the obvious: Go, see a real doc if you think you might be (clinical) depressed.

also obvious: of course, you won't, as always.

Best of luck!
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Old May 9, 2021, 02:34 PM   #6
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From your postings, granted I'm no medical professional, (and from experience with a gf who is), you very well could be manic depressive.
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Old May 9, 2021, 03:37 PM   #7
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SubCog View Post
For me it tends to be just a feeling that I don't feel like doing anything, work-related or fun (hobbies, sports, etc.).

I never get the low self-esteem bits, because I know I'm awesome, and I've very self-assured. Certainly no thoughts of suicide or anything.

Sometimes I waste an entire day (on Rage3d!), waiting to feel more ambitious tomorrow. Sometimes I get into this funk that can for weeks. I have small children at home, so I don't have the luxury of staying in bed, but sometimes I think I might if I didn't have little people demanding things of me.

Sometimes I can work through it by forcing myself to do an activity that I love, like wood-working or skateboarding. It also seems to be largely sleep-related... often times it goes away if I can just get a good night of sleep, although I've never been a very good sleeper, so "a good night of sleep" is not really a reliable solution.
I'm the EXACT same. To the T.

I do sleep well.. but same. The kids are bigger.. so if I get time, I take a nap.
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Old May 9, 2021, 09:20 PM   #8
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I think I am incapable of being happy. I feel blessed but I am never truly happy. I have everything a person can want in their lives but still I don’t feel happy.

Also I hate working but I can’t survive if I can’t work. Lately I have not been going out at all and I have no energy to do anything. I just get bored af all the time at work, at home, with everyone.

I don’t know if it is depression or just downright stupidity.
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Old May 9, 2021, 09:45 PM   #9
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I think I am incapable of being happy. I feel blessed but I am never truly happy. I have everything a person can want in their lives but still I don’t feel happy.

Also I hate working but I can’t survive if I can’t work. Lately I have not been going out at all and I have no energy to do anything. I just get bored af all the time at work, at home, with everyone.

I don’t know if it is depression or just downright stupidity.
depression to a tee
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Old May 9, 2021, 09:55 PM   #10
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I think I am incapable of being happy. I feel blessed but I am never truly happy. I have everything a person can want in their lives but still I don’t feel happy.

Also I hate working but I can’t survive if I can’t work. Lately I have not been going out at all and I have no energy to do anything. I just get bored af all the time at work, at home, with everyone.

I don’t know if it is depression or just downright stupidity.
The pandemic has been tough on us all. I was a social distance pro before it became the norm, so didn't impact me too hard. I also hate working, because I work for upper level morons, and get a new boss every other year. Chin up bro, we're here for you!
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Old May 9, 2021, 09:56 PM   #11
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The pandemic has been tough on us all. I was a social distance pro before it became the norm, so didn't impact me too hard. I also hate working, because I work for upper level morons, and get a new boss every other year. Chin up bro, we're here for you!
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Old May 9, 2021, 10:18 PM   #12
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I don’t have suicidal thoughts because my religion prevents it but things that make me unhappy are:

1) having to work another 20 years before I retire
2) people having their break early whereas, I am in the rat race
3) seeing other people ahead of me in the corporate race (I am not jealous) but I do think I could’ve been there had I not made the decision to leave my consulting job
4) teenage kid who seems to think he now knows everything
5) wife that I feel I am drifting apart from since we don’t really have anything to talk about anymore (we haven’t gone out due to this pandemic and there is nothing to discuss)
6) me putting on weight (actually I lost 5 kilos+) but still a long way to go
7) not really getting a product role in tech whereas the other moron got it and I ended up quitting and moving to ops with another company
8) racism and bias at workplace
9) having a very shitty team in my new company as I feel all are underperformers that I can’t just outright fire
10) just overall morale of mine
11) really shitty first 4 months without any good games to play (my only real relief)
12) just out of energy all the time - might be because I don’t exercise

List goes on and on and on. I think first thing I will do is fix my eating habits. However, eating does make me happy.

Sometimes I do feel I just go away far away from everyone and no one can find me. But I love my little kid way too much to do that. I have also thought about taking him away with me to a far away place but I know he can’t survive without his family and home. All random thoughts and of course I would never do such a thing but I just need to get away for a bit and just be away from everyone.

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Old May 9, 2021, 10:39 PM   #13
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Dude you need to get out of that country stat man. I think you'd find things a lot better over here, when it comes to freedoms and stuff, however there is a bunch of other crap going on here that isn't there but i mean that's with every country.

Seems like you need to take a slight vacation and just worry about the now instead of the later. It's overwhelming you. It's good to be prepared for the unknown but i mean too much is just as bad.
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Old May 9, 2021, 10:49 PM   #14
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Quote:
Originally Posted by KAC View Post
I think I am incapable of being happy. I feel blessed but I am never truly happy. I have everything a person can want in their lives but still I don’t feel happy.

Also I hate working but I can’t survive if I can’t work. Lately I have not been going out at all and I have no energy to do anything. I just get bored af all the time at work, at home, with everyone.

I don’t know if it is depression or just downright stupidity.
I'm kindof just the opposite. I'm always pretty happy. But I'm always wanting the next thing too. Right now it's a new GPU that I want.

But I'm very much about enjoying the journey too, so I'm happy even while I'm always looking for the next thing I need.
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Old May 9, 2021, 10:52 PM   #15
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That’s great.
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Old May 10, 2021, 12:21 AM   #16
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Glad to see I'm not the only one about the job

I love(d) my job (dev work). But now ? I can barely be bothered. Everything is a pain to do. Always issues with the specs etc.

If I could retire yesterday... I would.
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Old May 10, 2021, 01:43 AM   #17
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1) Mind Fog

The biggest one I experienced (and in a way still experiencing) is mind fog. You know, when you can't completely think straight no matter how hard you tried. It always feels like there's a ton of wasted RAM, that kinda deal.


2) Low energy levels

This can be alleviated somewhat with exercise and healthy eating, but then again, you always feel like there's major missed potential.


3) Interests

The things you once loved doing feels mundane. Because of how terrible mind fog and low energy levels make you feel during a depressive episode, you just want to lie down and do absolutely nothing constructive. Regardless of how much you know your interests "should" make you happy.


4) Lack of self-esteem

This goes without saying. Because of all the symptoms above, wallowing in self pity (be it obviously or in secret) becomes commonplace for you. Insecurity can oftentimes creep up in personal relationships.


Honestly though, if it wasn't for my girlfriend, I wouldn't be thinking positive at all. She knows I have depression and is trying her best to make our home as nurturing as it can possibly be. At least right now I acknowledge there is a problem and I strive to improve one day. One step at a time.
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Old May 10, 2021, 02:22 AM   #18
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I know you have been struggling but I definitely do not have 3/4 of those symptoms. I only have low energy levels but that’s about it.
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Old May 10, 2021, 07:40 AM   #19
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I sure I've been depressed for a long time now.
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Old May 10, 2021, 08:24 AM   #20
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I sure I've been depressed for a long time now.
we're all, my friend, some more - some less.

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Old May 10, 2021, 08:27 AM   #21
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we're all, my friend, some more - some less.

That would help lift my..... spirits.
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Old May 10, 2021, 08:36 AM   #22
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That would help lift my..... spirits.
But his name is Bob
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Old May 10, 2021, 08:41 AM   #23
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But his name is Bob
Then both our spirits would be lifted....
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Old May 10, 2021, 09:01 AM   #24
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Then both our spirits would be lifted....
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Old May 10, 2021, 09:12 AM   #25
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So had a chat with the internal recruiter in the company and it doesn’t quite seem that I have a shot at the role.
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Old May 10, 2021, 12:50 PM   #26
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1) Mind Fog

The biggest one I experienced (and in a way still experiencing) is mind fog. You know, when you can't completely think straight no matter how hard you tried. It always feels like there's a ton of wasted RAM, that kinda deal.


2) Low energy levels

This can be alleviated somewhat with exercise and healthy eating, but then again, you always feel like there's major missed potential.


3) Interests

The things you once loved doing feels mundane. Because of how terrible mind fog and low energy levels make you feel during a depressive episode, you just want to lie down and do absolutely nothing constructive. Regardless of how much you know your interests "should" make you happy.


4) Lack of self-esteem

This goes without saying. Because of all the symptoms above, wallowing in self pity (be it obviously or in secret) becomes commonplace for you. Insecurity can oftentimes creep up in personal relationships.


Honestly though, if it wasn't for my girlfriend, I wouldn't be thinking positive at all. She knows I have depression and is trying her best to make our home as nurturing as it can possibly be. At least right now I acknowledge there is a problem and I strive to improve one day. One step at a time.
That is 100% me to a "T"...I could even add a bunch more things to that list. To me life is essentially one giant disappointment and pain. If I could choose to disappear today and not have it affect anyone I would do it without hardly any hesitation. I'll never commit suicide because I've seen the effects it has on others and it can be devastating to them...it's the most selfish thing you can do, but I would trade my life so someone else who was losing theirs if I could so they could continue on
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Old May 10, 2021, 01:27 PM   #27
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I think a lot of folks in general are dealing with low feelings. The pandemic was certainly a huge disruptor in life, and the effects are still hitting us all in different ways, vaccinated or not.


I confess to struggling a little for the past week: we have been looking for a home for almost a year while kinda camping out in my parent's bonus room. We all know the market is nuts, and it seemed we had found a place that we could love forever (we aren't looking for just any home, we want the house we get to live in to the end and really make it ours) and then last Monday, we both realized it likely wasn't going to work out.


The other half and I have both been in a funk ever since. He threw himself into a detailed side project to kind of cope, and I just toss myself into working extra hard at our business to keep moving forward. I do feel extra tired, and low, and tell myself I'm not successful at things when the truth is, I am fine at what I do. But yeah, I don't feel like doing any of the things I typically like to do to wind down a little.


Excercise would help but ****, it keeps ****ing raining out here.
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Old May 10, 2021, 02:30 PM   #28
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I don’t have suicidal thoughts because my religion prevents it but things that make me unhappy are:

1) having to work another 20 years before I retire
2) people having their break early whereas, I am in the rat race
3) seeing other people ahead of me in the corporate race (I am not jealous) but I do think I could’ve been there had I not made the decision to leave my consulting job
4) teenage kid who seems to think he now knows everything
5) wife that I feel I am drifting apart from since we don’t really have anything to talk about anymore (we haven’t gone out due to this pandemic and there is nothing to discuss)
6) me putting on weight (actually I lost 5 kilos+) but still a long way to go
7) not really getting a product role in tech whereas the other moron got it and I ended up quitting and moving to ops with another company
8) racism and bias at workplace
9) having a very shitty team in my new company as I feel all are underperformers that I can’t just outright fire
10) just overall morale of mine
11) really shitty first 4 months without any good games to play (my only real relief)
12) just out of energy all the time - might be because I don’t exercise

List goes on and on and on. I think first thing I will do is fix my eating habits. However, eating does make me happy.

Sometimes I do feel I just go away far away from everyone and no one can find me. But I love my little kid way too much to do that. I have also thought about taking him away with me to a far away place but I know he can’t survive without his family and home. All random thoughts and of course I would never do such a thing but I just need to get away for a bit and just be away from everyone.
Everything, except the racism, sounds like your typical mid-life crisis. Sorry you have to endure the racism. You need to find a company that doesn’t permit that crap. As far as the mid-life crisis goes, it’s tough to realize that “this is it”. You spend all your life with goals that seem very far in the future. And then, one day you realize that there are limits in life. It’s hard to take. I felt the same about 10 years ago and it was very unsettling. I even got to the point of frequent sleepless nights. (You probably got that too). It can really turn into a self destructive spiral if you don’t watch out. Here are some of the things I did that helped. I am no therapist. They are experts at this stuff and talking to one is no shame at all. They have much better advice than I have. Anyway, here are some things that might help.

Exercise - “just do it”. Do anything you can regularly. DON’T start some super strict regiment that will be impossible to sustain. Get a dog and walk them everyday. Anything that gives you chance to get some activity in. It makes a huge difference because it can clear your mind.

Sleep - as you get older you have to have regular sleep. Gotta give up those late night gaming sessions . If you still can’t sleep, try some sort of meditation.

Self Esteem - It is the time in your life when you really need to pat yourself on the back. Career and family are huge accomplishments you should be super proud of. Tell yourself that. Quit comparing to others. If you look, it is always a 100% possibility that there will be a situation that makes you jealous. Constantly seeking them out is just a way for you to kick your self esteem in the nuts. Stop doing it!

Family - Find ways to just spend more time together. The less time you spend together the farther everyone grows apart.

Eating - do what you love. Just keep an eye on your portions!

GL,
SD

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Old May 10, 2021, 02:47 PM   #29
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I think what's scary about it is you think about your age and realize you aren't young anymore. Probably closer to retirement now then when first started your working career. I sit and think of this often and even though I don't have any regrets in life, I think I did well enough in my career, experienced life, did a lot of things, seen a lot of place etc but can't help feel even though still 20 - 25 years from retirement, I won't be prepared well enough for it. 20 - 25 years sounds a lot but my first job was 23 years ago and it feels like just the other day, time goes by so fast. Just the other day i was in my 20's, no care in the world enjoying life, no 43 with a wife, 2 kids and lots of responsibilities, it does bring one down thinking about it.
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Old May 10, 2021, 04:50 PM   #30
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I think what's scary about it is you think about your age and realize you aren't young anymore. Probably closer to retirement now then when first started your working career. I sit and think of this often and even though I don't have any regrets in life, I think I did well enough in my career, experienced life, did a lot of things, seen a lot of place etc but can't help feel even though still 20 - 25 years from retirement, I won't be prepared well enough for it. 20 - 25 years sounds a lot but my first job was 23 years ago and it feels like just the other day, time goes by so fast. Just the other day i was in my 20's, no care in the world enjoying life, no 43 with a wife, 2 kids and lots of responsibilities, it does bring one down thinking about it.
When you get to my age you start doing the same calculations except instead of retirement you use death as your future marker. It's all normal stuff about growing up and getting old. It's great you have no regrets. I ended up with plenty of them. But it's useless to dwell as there is no way to rewind the clock!
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