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Old May 10, 2021, 07:37 PM   #31
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KAC
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Originally Posted by SD-[Inc] View Post
Everything, except the racism, sounds like your typical mid-life crisis. Sorry you have to endure the racism. You need to find a company that doesn’t permit that crap. As far as the mid-life crisis goes, it’s tough to realize that “this is it”. You spend all your life with goals that seem very far in the future. And then, one day you realize that there are limits in life. It’s hard to take. I felt the same about 10 years ago and it was very unsettling. I even got to the point of frequent sleepless nights. (You probably got that too). It can really turn into a self destructive spiral if you don’t watch out. Here are some of the things I did that helped. I am no therapist. They are experts at this stuff and talking to one is no shame at all. They have much better advice than I have. Anyway, here are some things that might help.

Exercise - “just do it”. Do anything you can regularly. DON’T start some super strict regiment that will be impossible to sustain. Get a dog and walk them everyday. Anything that gives you chance to get some activity in. It makes a huge difference because it can clear your mind.

Sleep - as you get older you have to have regular sleep. Gotta give up those late night gaming sessions . If you still can’t sleep, try some sort of meditation.

Self Esteem - It is the time in your life when you really need to pat yourself on the back. Career and family are huge accomplishments you should be super proud of. Tell yourself that. Quit comparing to others. If you look, it is always a 100% possibility that there will be a situation that makes you jealous. Constantly seeking them out is just a way for you to kick your self esteem in the nuts. Stop doing it!

Family - Find ways to just spend more time together. The less time you spend together the farther everyone grows apart.

Eating - do what you love. Just keep an eye on your portions!

GL,
SD
I switched jobs already to get away from racism and bias. It doesn't help that I had to switch jobs for it. It sucks ass.
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Old May 15, 2021, 01:50 AM   #32
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Think it is really depression. I am just so bored and depressed all the time. I also feel lazy and feel life is just passing by. Not also sure what I want to do with my career. Just so down lately. Wasting my time.
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Old May 15, 2021, 06:36 PM   #33
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Think it is really depression. I am just so bored and depressed all the time. I also feel lazy and feel life is just passing by. Not also sure what I want to do with my career. Just so down lately. Wasting my time.
It's been a **** year, so it is easy to feel this way. If it feels like a hole that you can't jump out of on you own, go talk to a professional. It only gets worse if you let it linger.
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Old May 16, 2021, 01:47 AM   #34
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I think I am incapable of being happy. I feel blessed but I am never truly happy. I have everything a person can want in their lives but still I don’t feel happy.

Also I hate working but I can’t survive if I can’t work. Lately I have not been going out at all and I have no energy to do anything. I just get bored af all the time at work, at home, with everyone.

I don’t know if it is depression or just downright stupidity.
Could be hypothyroidism among many, many other causes that aren't depression.
I would suggest going to a good family physician and clearly describing your symptoms.
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Old May 16, 2021, 06:52 AM   #35
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As far as I know my tests always come out fine. For anything. lol.
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Old May 16, 2021, 10:05 AM   #36
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I think you need a second opinion from another qualified doctor.
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Old May 16, 2021, 12:49 PM   #37
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I think you need a second opinion from another qualified doctor.
another qualified doctor like Rage3d? Maybe he should try https://www.familyhandyman.com/proje...-refrigerator/
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Old May 16, 2021, 02:21 PM   #38
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another qualified doctor like Rage3d? Maybe he should try https://www.familyhandyman.com/proje...-refrigerator/
Uhhhh no. My post is quite literal for a serious topic.

He should try another doctor in case the other one is mistaken.
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Old May 16, 2021, 02:46 PM   #39
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I think the tests for clinical depression of any sort come from consultation, and not labwork. If you think you are depressed there is no shame in looking into treatment, there are a lot of antidepressants available and meeting with a doctor qualified to prescribe them will include a test for whether they think you actually need them or it's just a funk. The biggest issue with the treatment of clinical depression, aside from any lingering stigma surrounding it, is that it is very difficult to determine what will work for which person, so it's pretty common to have to try a few antidepressants, sometimes with noticeable side effects, before you find one that both treats the problem adequately and doesn't give you any side effects that are significant.


So if you suspect you may be depressed, talk to a psychiatrist and see if they think you have some form of depression and what may be a good first course of treatment.
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Old May 16, 2021, 05:19 PM   #40
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Uhhhh no. My post is quite literal for a serious topic.

He should try another doctor in case the other one is mistaken.
i know, and i also know he won't go see a real doc for a diagnosis, let alone treatment for depression. Instead he (as others also do) will keep posting about it on this board where not a single doctor is present. I really can't wrap my head around this kind of "logic".

On a sidenote: Yes, i am aware that for some things it's also good and important to vent / talk about. But it's not a solution. Without the right treatment things will (always) get worse.
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Old May 17, 2021, 11:54 PM   #41
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This may sound real weird to you KAC, but did you ever consider getting yourself a family pet? Say a dog or a cat?

If taken care of properly, they have this uncanny ability to make you feel like the most important person in the world. Which goes without saying, alleviates depressive symptoms.

I realize having your own family should provide you support and all, but feeling 100% needed most of the time is another thing altogether (relationships grow out of the honeymoon phase and kids grow up quickly and learn to rely on themselves). You might think it's a major hassle, but trust me, they're well worth the effort.

Cats and dogs essentially think like 3-year-old kids until the day they pass. Being relied on and loved unconditionally is the most heartwarming thing anyone can ever feel.

I recently got myself a Ragdoll and let me tell you, she warms my heart every single day.
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Old May 18, 2021, 10:44 AM   #42
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Not a fan of pets. Too much work. Am trying to simplify my life and not complicate it. Took this week off and played some games. Was decent but I feel really down at night time when everyone is asleep. End up watching a movie usually which puts me further in depressed state. Just not sure what I want to do anymore.

Been praying a lot lately to qualify for the job I applied to. Next week I speak to the hiring manager to see if he would even consider me or not.

Also eating garbage again after a full month of detox. Usually eating one burger per day which is also depressing me further.

Just bored out of my mind right now. .

About seeking psychological help, well I have had my share of bad experiences and I personally don’t think it is helpful to talk to some stranger about this. I also definitely don’t want to ruin my body with artificial drugs as that is against my principles as well. Will power through this time as well like I have done most of my life.
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Old May 19, 2021, 04:27 AM   #43
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Source: MSN

Quote:
Fatigue: Too exhausted for everyday life

dpa 17 hrs ago.

The translation from French already makes it clear what it's all about: "Fatigue" means tiredness. But anyone affected by fatigue syndrome needs more than just a little rest.

Anyone who has fatigue suffers from a permanent feeling of exhaustion. Anyone who has fatigue suffers from a permanent feeling of exhaustion.
"Fatigue is defined as pathological exhaustion and exhaustibility that is closed to the usual recovery strategies," explains Sabine Herzig, a specialist in neurology at the Day Clinic for Cognitive Neurology at Leipzig University Hospital. Aspects such as a healthy lifestyle, restful sleep and adequate breaks do not lead here to the fact that the lack of energy is basically eliminated, so the expert.


This means that those affected suffer from a permanent feeling of exhaustion, and at the same time even everyday tasks lead to rapid fatigue. "Patients find it difficult to fulfill requirements over a longer period of time - this can also be conversations, household activities or light sporting activities," says Herzig. During such activities, strength decreases disproportionately quickly.

Fatigue occurs after illness

The causes usually lie in previous illnesses: "We observe it in patients after serious illnesses," says Sabine Köhler, chairwoman of the Professional Association of German Neurologists. "The strong feeling of exhaustion does not regress, but remains as a complaint." The specialist in psychiatry and psychotherapy often experiences fatigue in patients with multiple sclerosis or after cancer with accompanying therapy.

If fatigue is present, it cannot simply be remedied with medical treatment: "First of all, you have to acknowledge that this illness is there and adjust your own expectations to it," says Köhler.

Instead of wanting to function as before, she recommends taking stock: "Where is it important for me to perform and where is it not so essential?" Strength-sapping work or goals could thus be put on the back burner for a bit.

Back to strength with light effort

For those affected, it is advisable to arrange their lives around fatigue syndrome, says Köhler. "It is important to aim for moderate exertion in order to slowly increase performance again without overstraining the body," the expert says. Whether fatigue disappears or remains a permanent life companion varies. The vast majority of patients do find their way back into their life situation, "but at a different performance level."

Once fatigue has been diagnosed, patients need to become familiar with their condition. For many, the diagnosis is also a relief in a way: "A key factor is that patients and relatives really register the suffering and recognize it as such," says Sabine Herzig. Patients usually don't see their fatigue, which is why they often feel misunderstood.

Fatigue after a corona infection

Chronic fatigue syndrome must be distinguished from fatigue after a serious illness. In this independent clinical picture, physical symptoms such as neck pain, muscle pain or headaches are added to the exhaustion.

By definition, the syndrome abbreviated CFS is only present after a course of at least six months. "This is usually a post-viral complication," Herzig says. Often, CFS occurs very suddenly, and the disease unexpectedly and very severely limits quality of life.

What fatigue symptoms after corona infection fall under is currently still the subject of research. "Fatigue can occur as part of a post-covid syndrome. For most, symptoms will subside after a few weeks or months," Herzig says. Those patients are not likely to fall into the two explained variants, according to the neurologist.

"However, there will definitely be those affected who develop chronic fatigue, as we know it after other severe infections, and for whom the previously reported then applies," Herzig says.

At the Charité hospital in Berlin, a special post-Covid fatigue consultation hour has been set up for those affected: Regardless of the definition of their symptoms, patients can find help here to deal with severe exhaustion. Other clinics have also set up post-Covid consultation hours.
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Old May 19, 2021, 10:04 AM   #44
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About seeking psychological help, well I have had my share of bad experiences and I personally don’t think it is helpful to talk to some stranger about this. I also definitely don’t want to ruin my body with artificial drugs as that is against my principles as well. Will power through this time as well like I have done most of my life.

I think that in most cases, antidepressant meds are usually part of a treatment that includes therapy, but it's probably not a must-do and therapists are individuals just like patients, so it's pretty common to move around between a few before you find one that really seems to mesh with you. In any case, it is worth saying that a psychiatrist is not a psychologist - the former can actually prescribe drugs as part of the treatment where the latter is not necessarily a medical doctor and is primarily about therapy.


If it is depression and not just a temporary feel bad, it's about a chemical imbalance in the brain and it should be treated like any other affliction you can be treated for, despite the feely nature of the whole thing. Knowing whether or not its temporary really only becomes clear from the far side, so if it's significant enough at this point, it's probably better to treat it as not just a funk and seek treatment. If the psychiatrist is a reasonable one, they're not going to prescribe you anything if it doesn't seem like it's a big enough issue, and if they just recommend therapy or similar, while it still may be advisable to do it, the choice is ultimately yours - just going in for an evaluation doesn't mean you're locked into a treatment regimen or to give up all your personal secrets to a stranger.
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Old May 19, 2021, 10:08 PM   #45
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Makes sense. I will see if things improve over the next couple of months. If they don’t I will go in and see a psychiatrist. Hopefully she is hot and gives good head to relieve the pressure.
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Old May 21, 2021, 12:58 AM   #46
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Sleeping less and having headaches past 3 days. Yay.
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Old May 22, 2021, 02:48 PM   #47
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Makes sense. I will see if things improve over the next couple of months. If they don’t I will go in and see a psychiatrist. Hopefully she is hot and gives good head to relieve the pressure.


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Sleeping less and having headaches past 3 days. Yay.
I hope it works out for you, Man.

Hang in there.
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Old May 25, 2021, 10:19 PM   #48
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So as it was expected they have already made up their mind to possibly not put me forward for interviews as I am too new to the company. Whatever. I also don’t want the headache. Still depressing nonetheless.

In 2 weeks I will know if they will proceed with me or not. If the answer is no then I will go buy a car or something to cure my depression.

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Old May 26, 2021, 06:10 AM   #49
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Get a nice Porsche and watch that depression dissappear.....
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Old May 26, 2021, 07:00 AM   #50
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Get a nice Porsche and watch that depression dissappear.....
For about a week.
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Old May 26, 2021, 07:01 AM   #51
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Lazy8s View Post
For about a week.
Nah, a month at the very least.
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Old May 26, 2021, 07:07 AM   #52
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Originally Posted by acroig View Post
Nah, a month at the very least.
Ok, for a Porsche....maybe
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Old May 26, 2021, 07:18 AM   #53
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Ok, for a Porsche....maybe
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Old May 26, 2021, 10:08 PM   #54
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So it seems a completely incompetent lady had done an Ombudsman case on me because of I wanted to put her on a PIP. So I gave it to them. Also she had made false accusations about me which I refuted that I have never said such things.

**** these people and **** their lives. I never wish ill on anyone but at times I want to just strangle and kill people. Thank the heavens for shooters.
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Old May 26, 2021, 10:17 PM   #55
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Sounds to me like you're being set up. Justification for not getting the job you applied for.
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Old May 26, 2021, 11:27 PM   #56
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Above anything KAC, I certainly hope there are people around you who at least sympathizes your condition and understand what you're going through.

Throughout the years, I always believed I can take care of my depression myself. From meds, to therapy sessions, literally nothing worked. From not so severe social anxiety symptoms, I gradually lost all trust in myself and went into a complete downwards spiral.

I won't pretend I am a major depression success story here, but what I find is, it's how the most important people around you (friends, family, relationships, even pets) that contribute to how mentally healthy you are.

Again easier said than done, but bro, don't put all the weight on yourself. It'll just lead you nowhere.
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Old May 27, 2021, 08:24 AM   #57
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Exercise and diet are underrated. This pandemic completely changed my life, like it did for everyone -- exercise has been a huge outlet for me, for mental health.

1) having to work another 20 years before I retire
- this is life.
2) people having their break early whereas, I am in the rat race
- career paths we choose
3) seeing other people ahead of me in the corporate race (I am not jealous) but I do think I could’ve been there had I not made the decision to leave my consulting job
- decisions we make
4) teenage kid who seems to think he now knows everything
- we were all know it all teenagers
5) wife that I feel I am drifting apart from since we don’t really have anything to talk about anymore (we haven’t gone out due to this pandemic and there is nothing to discuss)
- get off the computer and be an active participant in your relationship
6) me putting on weight (actually I lost 5 kilos+) but still a long way to go
- get outside and exercise
7) not really getting a product role in tech whereas the other moron got it and I ended up quitting and moving to ops with another company
- cant win em all
8) racism and bias at workplace
- this one is tough -- I have witnessed this for years in person, in the middle east -- indians , pakistanis and filipinos are treated like slaves. Ingrained in the culture and not going to change in our lifetime. Get out of middle east is probably only option.
9) having a very shitty team in my new company as I feel all are underperformers that I can’t just outright fire
- work on improving them rather than criticizing?
10) just overall morale of mine
- exercise, diet and engage with family
11) really shitty first 4 months without any good games to play (my only real relief)
- get away from the games
12) just out of energy all the time - might be because I don’t exercise
- exercise, diet and sleep
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Old May 27, 2021, 09:56 AM   #58
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Quote:
Originally Posted by switchAMG View Post
Exercise and diet are underrated. This pandemic completely changed my life, like it did for everyone -- exercise has been a huge outlet for me, for mental health.

1) having to work another 20 years before I retire
- this is life.
2) people having their break early whereas, I am in the rat race
- career paths we choose
3) seeing other people ahead of me in the corporate race (I am not jealous) but I do think I could’ve been there had I not made the decision to leave my consulting job
- decisions we make
4) teenage kid who seems to think he now knows everything
- we were all know it all teenagers
5) wife that I feel I am drifting apart from since we don’t really have anything to talk about anymore (we haven’t gone out due to this pandemic and there is nothing to discuss)
- get off the computer and be an active participant in your relationship
6) me putting on weight (actually I lost 5 kilos+) but still a long way to go
- get outside and exercise
7) not really getting a product role in tech whereas the other moron got it and I ended up quitting and moving to ops with another company
- cant win em all
8) racism and bias at workplace
- this one is tough -- I have witnessed this for years in person, in the middle east -- indians , pakistanis and filipinos are treated like slaves. Ingrained in the culture and not going to change in our lifetime. Get out of middle east is probably only option.
9) having a very shitty team in my new company as I feel all are underperformers that I can’t just outright fire
- work on improving them rather than criticizing?
10) just overall morale of mine
- exercise, diet and engage with family
11) really shitty first 4 months without any good games to play (my only real relief)
- get away from the games
12) just out of energy all the time - might be because I don’t exercise
- exercise, diet and sleep
KAC, you need to read this every day. Solid stuff here
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Old May 27, 2021, 01:10 PM   #59
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Originally Posted by SD-[Inc] View Post
It's been a **** year, so it is easy to feel this way. If it feels like a hole that you can't jump out of on you own, go talk to a professional. It only gets worse if you let it linger.
This. And lots of other great answers.

2020 is now 2021, and feels a bit like Groundhog's Day. We've been taking gut punch after gut punch, and the future is a murky mess. We just aren't built for what the pandemic and social unrest have and continue to wallop us with.

Getting out is important. I was really nervous about a recent family get-together, knowing that a significant portion of the extended family group were quite vocally anti-mask / anti-vax. My wife and I finally decided that we simply can't make that our problem. We've done what we feel is right and responsible, and are fully vaccinated. Our son is still outside the vaccine age parameters, but wearing a mask has become his norm. So we went. And it was wonderful. No drama, just family happy to see one another again. Risk? Certainly, but those people have made their own choices and we've decided to just let it go.

The point is, the aloneness exacerbates the problems. Find a safe group with which to connect. Don't rely on social media to provide that ... we humans need more than that. And find something to do to help others ... take the focus off yourself.

edit: TLDR ... just go reread switch's post instead lol.
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Old May 27, 2021, 01:26 PM   #60
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My wife and I are spending our anniversary vacation going....nowhere. 1.5 weeks off, hiking/fishing/barbecuing/....just spending time together like the best friends we are.

And we need it badly right now. If the last 16 months were a guy we would both do vile things to him


One day at a time, get out of the head and outside living life
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