Chuck
Well-known member
Most old school rage members already know this, but I have depression. Many here have heard me bitch and moan about life, and I don't want to be a bother anymore, but I find I am facing many real challenges lately.
My mind have been in the fog for nearly two decades now... that's pretty much nothing new. Low energy and motivation, that always brought me down. I tried to exercise more often per doctor's orders, but the muscle tightness and sourness just drove my anxiety to the roof.
I wouldn't pretend my life have been absolutely lame since I returned to Hong Kong in 2009. Fact is, no matter how I try to convince myself otherwise, it's been pretty darn decent. Afterall, it was during this time that my Shiba Inu Mickey and girlfriend Bobo entered my life. The happiness they brought to me nearly cured my depression, but as with everything, with time, it brought me a ton of stress that I currently don’t know how to handle.
Mickey have always been there for me through thick and thin. Time and time again, his unconditional love for me reminded me how life is worth living. Even prevented me from committing suicide once when it seemed like he knew and cried like I never heard before. For years, he have been my single most (before I met my girlfriend) pride and joy, and now, rather unexpectedly, I get the most shocking news he has stage 3 cancer. The grief is just overwhelming. Not only is it making me a weepy mess, I find I am being overly snappy for no apparent reason. So much so it seems I can no longer tolerate my unhappiness at work. Pretty positive I will quit in the coming months.
My relationship have been going rather smoothly and my girlfriend makes sure to support me however she can, and we are looking to renovate our home and planning the next chapter of our life together. However, just when I was making proposal plans, I get the sad news about my dog’s cancer. Is it even right to propose when I am absolutely miserable? I just feel conflicted making plans that should bring me the utmost happiness when my most beloved best pal is dying. I love my girlfriend and want to marry her. I mean, is it even right to drag things along like this? I feel like a zombie dragging myself around the place right now.
What will you guys do if you were me?
My mind have been in the fog for nearly two decades now... that's pretty much nothing new. Low energy and motivation, that always brought me down. I tried to exercise more often per doctor's orders, but the muscle tightness and sourness just drove my anxiety to the roof.
I wouldn't pretend my life have been absolutely lame since I returned to Hong Kong in 2009. Fact is, no matter how I try to convince myself otherwise, it's been pretty darn decent. Afterall, it was during this time that my Shiba Inu Mickey and girlfriend Bobo entered my life. The happiness they brought to me nearly cured my depression, but as with everything, with time, it brought me a ton of stress that I currently don’t know how to handle.
Mickey have always been there for me through thick and thin. Time and time again, his unconditional love for me reminded me how life is worth living. Even prevented me from committing suicide once when it seemed like he knew and cried like I never heard before. For years, he have been my single most (before I met my girlfriend) pride and joy, and now, rather unexpectedly, I get the most shocking news he has stage 3 cancer. The grief is just overwhelming. Not only is it making me a weepy mess, I find I am being overly snappy for no apparent reason. So much so it seems I can no longer tolerate my unhappiness at work. Pretty positive I will quit in the coming months.
My relationship have been going rather smoothly and my girlfriend makes sure to support me however she can, and we are looking to renovate our home and planning the next chapter of our life together. However, just when I was making proposal plans, I get the sad news about my dog’s cancer. Is it even right to propose when I am absolutely miserable? I just feel conflicted making plans that should bring me the utmost happiness when my most beloved best pal is dying. I love my girlfriend and want to marry her. I mean, is it even right to drag things along like this? I feel like a zombie dragging myself around the place right now.
What will you guys do if you were me?