Most people are having to manually tweak to get their sticks running. It's a symptom of the new memory controller and the death of Ring Bus.
IMO, just play with the voltages. You don't need to run stress tests as we know the memory is stable, so you just test it with games. From what you've said, it's the IMC acting up, and the IMC on the 12700K seems to be quite weak compared to the 12900K - just poor binned memory controllers it seems.
I would set your DRAM voltage to 1.36v (because some of the boards are undervolting just a hair, so with 1.36 you'll get 1.35 effective), and then start messing with the CPU System Agent voltage. I suggest trying 1.25v. This is a very safe voltage, no need to worry, and you won't see a difference in temps or power. You can go up to 1.4v for 24/7 daily, but I can't imagine 3200CL14 2x16gb sticks requiring more than 1.3v MAX even on the worst binned IMC.
If the SA voltage alone does not correct the issue, then it's time to look at the CPU itself - set voltage mode to Offset, and then give it a +050 or +100mv offset and see if that helps.
You moved to a very new architecture, on a new platform, on the bleeding edge of hardware -- there will be growing pains, and this is one of them. If you aren't willing to tweak manually, then I'm not sure buying the newest hardware on the market is a particularly good idea. I'm not saying you're incapable or that you're complaining yourself, but I've seen a lot of people bitchng and throwing tirades about XMP not working correctly or crashing, and then blaming Intel or ASUS or GSkill etc - in my opinion that's just not logical. I can't run XMP on my 4000CL16 sticks, I had to manually tweak to get 3866 stable as 4000 is too much for the crap IMC on my 12700K. I will try again when I get back now that BIOS' are far more stable, but yeah.
What BIOS is your board on? When I got my TUF, the stock BIOS was atrocious and nothing worked. The second I flashed to the first beta BIOS, things were vastly better. I can send you links to the most up-to-date BIOS, beyond what is listed on the ASUS website. I get them from Shamino, one of the main BIOS writers for ASUS.